so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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