i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
