You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
