sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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