yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize