I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
