I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
