I want to have your abortion
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
