I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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