Having a random hookup so left but love u
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
