it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
