his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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