apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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