morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
