Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
