All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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