He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
dude. I can hear the air.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize