Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
