i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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