im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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