i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
