I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
