your thong is hanging out like whoa
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize