8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
