My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
either way he was missing a nipple.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
