Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
