New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
