wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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