i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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