Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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