i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
