Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
