Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
