you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
