i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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