Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
