I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I can't turn off my feet"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
