i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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