is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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