to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
