Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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