i wish my penis had a tongue
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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