Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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