at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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