idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
