And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
