She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Dear god my vagina.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
