Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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