I'm jealous of your bromance
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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