Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
