So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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