I CAN MOONWALK!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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