I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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