I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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