id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
