Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
