do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
