Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
