Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
