dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
