dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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