That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
