I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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