before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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