bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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