I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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